If you are someone who is not reading this or have never heard of this blog, you are achieving my purpose and have my eternal gratitude. Please note that your continuing indifference is important to me and I value your lack of interest. You may rest assured of my continuing endeavour to ensure that this blog shall be worthy of your casual dismissal. I appreciate your co-operation in not reading this. Thank you.
It might be thought that, like every person who writes a blog, I am merely just another egotist inflicting their thoughts on an unsuspecting world, deluding themselves that anyone is interested, imagining that people actually read it and modestly assuming the awe-stricken demeanour of the afore-said readers as they eagerly wait day-by-day for further gobbets of wisdom to be disseminated.
This is totally untrue and grossly underestimates both my egotistical nature and my profound understanding of the futility of blogging.
I strongly believe that, like anyone else, I am entitled to have my personal opinions, inane views and home-spun philosophies totally disregarded by everyone else. However this is not possible without my first publishing something to be ignored.
Were a car driver to be asked after an accident whether he was concentrating on driving and ignoring me entirely, he would have to admit to not ignoring me at all. “Aha!“, cries his counsel, “so because you could not ignore Eric-the-Bun, you therefore had the accident causing huge amounts of earnings for me. My Lord, I respectfully submit that the authorities should apprehend this Eric person immediately and prosecute him in order to increase my bank balance“.
This had caused me a lot of anxiety as I could have been held responsible for the consequences of almost anything. Given that scientists are now playing with black holes, this put me in line as a scapegoat were the universe to be destroyed through a moment of inattention by one of these dedicated and worthy lunatics. This blog, therefore, resolves the problem and I can face the destruction of the universe with equanimity, knowing that I will not be held to account for it.
My legacy to posterity means that almost anyone if asked whether they had come across me, can now openly and honestly respond with variants of “Who on earth is Eric-the-Bun?” (a heart-warming thought indeed). In fact the benefits of this creation of mine to every member of civilization is such that no further input to it is necessary. It’s mere existence should suffice.
However the blog needs content for a real and pragmatic purpose. Most blogs are written by people with insecurity complexes who actually expect others to read their outpourings and even to comment on them (there are some very sad people on the internet).
Conversely I create content merely so that people cannot comment on it.
Thus should you be foolish enough to read my ramblings, you should be aware that any semblance of sense, useful information or interest is merely an illusion designed to entrap you into wishing to comment and finding yourself unable to do so. Thus I establish and maintain a proper relationship between myself and all other entities, living or dead.
I can attempt to visualise the sort of person who might read this drivel, theorize the existence of those who might be amused, and hypothesize that there might be some who would find it useful as they are too bone idle to look up the information themselves. However it would be too depressing to be associated with any species that contained such individuals. It is more likely that such entities are products of illogical deduction rather than having any basis in reality. Thus, if you are reading this and I sincerely hope you aren’t, you are obviously a warped figment of my imagination and I need not care what your reaction to it is.
It’s my blog, all mine, and if any of you figments don’t like it, then go away and start your own imaginary blogs – not that there is much point as I won’t let any of my illusionary readers read your stupid blogs anyway.
Be sensible, think about it, you don’t really exist and imaginary people have nothing at all to write about at all – it’s bad enough that real people think others will be interested, without imaginary people getting delusions of grandeur as well. My advice is not to bother – take up knitting instead and at least you’ll be warm in winter.
So there you have it – the blog is an exercise in futility, catering for those who will avoid it like the plague and designed to annoy made up readers who delude themselves that they are real. It would appear a pointless exercise, but it is immensely satisfying to have something about me, my opinions, thoughts and observations, and whatever I want, with absolutely no consideration for anyone else. [In case you haven’t noticed I can be very petty at times – it’s rather smugly satisfying].